Lean On Me
by Wickedlovely01
Summary: Alec usually needs Magnus. But there comes a time where Magnus needs Alec.


**A/N: Hello there lovelies! I'm half back, half still on hiatus. But part of the reason is I DON'T HAVE ANY PLOTS! (Actually, thats a lie. Currently I'm writing a HS fanfic that is a WIP.) So if you want me to write more and more, I'll need ideas. Anything from 'Cupcakes' to 'Their first date' works and I'll write it. This was a fun one to write so don't forget to enjoy and review!**

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As Alec stood in front of Magnus's apartment, he realized something. Magnus never called him. It was always Alec who called him or texted him. This time however was different. Previously the Shadowhunter had been practicing long overdue duling with Jace when his phone rang. If the caller ID hadn't been there, Alec would have still known that it was Magnus, because of the picture of the glittery Warlock on the screen. He asked Alec to come over, and hung up abruptly after sighing heavily into the receiver. After apologizing for stopping practice, and suggesting that Jace practice with Isabelle or Clary, Alec ran out the door with his swords still strapped to his sides, hitting his thighs and eventually irritating the sensitive and pale skin.

Alec raised his hand to knock on the door to let his boyfriend know that he was here when Magnus turned the brass handle and swung the wood open. Before the Shadowhunter could say anything, however, Magnus threw his arms around Alec's neck and sobbed loudly, spraying snot and saltwater tears all over Alec's leather gear. "Magnus?" Alec said, bringing his hand almost robotically up and patting the Warlock's back in what he hoped was a comforting manner. He was never good with relationships, so this was brand new stuff to him. Uncharted territory. Dangerous waters.

"Promise me Alexander, that you won't ever die." Magnus bawled into the black fabric. Alec's midnight shirt was even more wrinkled. He didn't care about his appearance, often times just sleeping in the clothes from the previous day. Somehow, he'd managed to smooth his wild black hair down so it didn't look like he was a ragged amazonian man who didn't know about modern things such as a hairbrush.

He couldn't promise Magnus that. What had happened to him that had him like this? Alec wasn't going to live forever. Like a leaf he'd wither away and die, his ashes being burnt and his soul fleeing to heaven. Magnus surely knew that, he had too. Still, Alec felt a pang of pity for the shooken up Warlock. "Okay." Alec said, moving his other hand to Magnus's inky hair, stroking it. "Do you want to tell me what happened, Magnus?"

"Chairman- Chairman Meow- he-he-" Magnus sputtered, unable to speak the last word. But he didn't need too. Alec had gone through the same thing two years ago with his late brother Max. Magnus's cat had died, and before Alec that's who his companion was. No wonder something seemed off, the furry feline hadn't come up running to Alec, demanded to be payed attention to.

"By the Angel, I'm so sorry." Alec whispered, still continuing to stroke Magnus's hair. He really was. It felt awful to lose something or someone you held close to your heart. When Max passed away, it was like death was taunting him, and Alec had fallen into a dark abyss known as depression, only to scramble out with the help of his sparkly warlock boyfriend. He honestly didn't know if he would still be alive today if it wasn't for Magnus. Magnus needed Alec right now, so here the Shadowhunter would stay for as long as Magnus needed him.

Alec let Magnus sob into his shoulder, murmuring what was hopefully comforting things in the Warlock's ear. Slowly, Alec guided Magnus to his couch, which was a dark red velvet. Everything in the loft was a bloody crimson, a mysterious black, or a heavenly white. The furniture changed with Magnus's mood. This time just had to be Victorian Era style. Along with the couch, (Which, Alec noted, was really only big for one person) there was a dark wood table, most likely mahogany. There were matching red chairs, with black decorative swirls on them, giving the sense that death was lurking in the curling lines, waiting to pluck Alec from the living world as well. Then Magnus would really be alone in the world. Jace certainly wouldn't come and comfort him, even if Magnus got on his knees and begged like a dog.

The loft was very dimly lit, like an expensive restaurant they went to for elaborate dates. A few light bulbs were glowing a soft yellow inside tall black lamp shades which dripped white tassels like wax. Everything was so morbid, so decrepit. It was so unlike Magnus. After Alec had set the mournful Warlock down, he promptly walked to the kitchen. It hadn't changed much, minus the fact that several china plates now littered the floor, as if Magnus tried to chip the grief of his dead cat away. It didn't work that way, Alec knew that. A memory resurfaced of Jace throwing knives and swords around after Max died, screaming to Raziel how unfair it was, and that it was all his fault. It wasn't.

Most people would scoff and say that Magnus needed to get over it. Chairman Meow was just a pet, after all. Alec sighed as he opened the fridge, looking for some milk. Mundanes didn't understand a bond you could have with an animal, well, some didn't. Alec never had a pet, but Max and Isabelle were kinda like one, with all the trouble they caused on a daily basis. Pets could be your companion, your helper, and sometimes even the gateway to the world. Alec looked over at Magnus again, his dark eyebrows furrowing. Magnus had taken to laying on his stomach, his head tilted toward the darkly lit wall, his mouth set in a straight line. He had stopped bawling, but silent, glistening tears were running down his face in an effort to be the first one to settle on the dark red fabric below him.

Alec had managed to put the milk into a porcelain coffee mug and warm it until it was steaming without breaking anything. He wasn't close to the Chairman, but his absence bore a hole in his heart. Whatever Alec felt, he knew that Magnus was feeling that but a hundred times worse. He sprinkled cinnamon on top of the milk, and then went to his heartbroken boyfriend. He sat on the armrest, coaxing Magnus to sit up, and when he did, Alec handed him the warm milk.

"What's this?" Inquired Magnus. Alec noticed just how wreaked he was. His eyeliner had run down his face, and glitter was embedded in the black lines. His trembling hands wrapped around the white cup like a vice, soaking up all the warmness.

"Warm milk with cinnamon sprinkled on top. Mom used to make it for me when I had a bad day." Alec replied. He didn't add that it also helped you fall asleep. When something horrible happened to you, you lost a lot of sleep over whatever happened. Alec knew that Magnus wouldn't sleep willingly tonight, and he needed a good nights rest to battle the five stages of grief ahead of him. "C'mon Magnus, drink it." Alec cooed, returning to stroking the Warlock's black hair, which was encrusted with glitter he'd failed to wash out even after multiple attempts.

Magnus did as Alec instructed. After a couple of sips, he looked at Alec with his big green and gold cat eyes. The Shadowhunter noted that they'd never looked so hopeless, so heartbroken, like one of the cracked china plates in the kitchen. All the life had been sucked out of them when Chairman Meow died. Magnus really did love that cat, and getting over the loss wasn't going to be easy, but Alec would be there every step of the way, through his boyfriends highs and lows. "I buried him in central park. Mundanes can't see the grave, they don't deserve to. God Alec, I thought... I thought he was just sleeping. But he wouldn't wake up."

"I know. I know." Alec said softly, remembering how small Max had looked in their fathers arms. He could have been sleeping, but he wasn't. His chest failing to rise and fall had further proved that Max was really dead, and the blow had stuck Alec hard.

"Why am I the one cursed with immortality? I always have to watch the ones I love fade away. You'll die, no matter what promises you make to me." Magnus said with the wisdom of a thousand years, though he was only 800. "Soon I won't be able to love. The feeling will go away, as will hate. But I don't want to lose the ability to love, Alec. What if I stop loving you? What if I-"

He was quickly cut off by Alec clamping his runed hand over Magnus's mouth. Alec's blue eyes, which were so gentle and insecure, blazed with ferocity he only got while fighting demons. "Stop it, Magnus. You're making this harder on yourself and it doesn't need to be. Screw the future, this is real, this is now. You love me now, and you'll love me tomorrow. Isn't that enough?" He took his hand off Magnus's mouth slowly.

"But in fifty years, Alexander, will I love you then?"

"In fifty years, I'll be but dust and shadows."

That was the truth. Shadowhunting was a very dangerous job, one where you weren't guaranteed to see the light of day the next hour. At a young age, Alec had accepted his fate. He'd die in his thirties, forties if he was lucky. The two men sat in silence, Magnus occasionally taking a drink of the milk that Alec had made him. The grandfather clock chimed, signaling that it was twelve in the morning. Alec opened his mouth to speak again after the dozen pings of noises ended.

"I don't know why you have to be the one to endure what you do, Magnus." Alec said seriously, a sad smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He cupped the Warlocks cheek, slowly lifting his face up to his own. "But all I know is that you're strong enough to handle it. Simon, once Clary and Isabelle die, won't be able to deal with the guilt and loss. But you will. I know you will. If you've survived the loss of Will Herondale, you can survive the loss of Chairman Meow. And when the time comes you'll survive the loss of myself."

"I hate being immortal. It sucks." Magnus said simply.

"So does being mortal." Alec countered, sighing.

"Well at least you don't have to see your loved ones dead!" Magnus half-yelled. Almost immediately afterwards, he gasped in horror at what he just said.

"Max." Alec said, the crushing feeling of depression settling on his eighteen year old shoulders.

"Oh god, Alec, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-" Magnus began, but Alec silenced him by waving a pale hand.

"It's fine. I get it. It isn't like I cared about Max or anything. He's just my brother." Alec said coldly, taking his hands off his boyfriend and crossing them over his chest, looking at one of the lamps in the corner. He shouldn't be mad at Magnus, he knew. But he was. Losing Max was still a very sensitive subject for him.

He felt warm hands wrap around his waist, which was cold to the touch. Alec sighed, rolling his eyes but still not giving in. "I am sorry, Alexander." There it was. Alec's full name, and Magnus knew he was forgiven, though Alec had not vocally insured it yet. It was hard to stay mad at someone you loved for more than a minute. If Jace had pissed of Alec by making fun of his relationship with the Warlock, you could bet the Parabatai were fencing the next second, smiling and laughing as if the fight had been non-existent.

"I know. Now be a good Warlock and finish your milk." Alec replied, lightly kissing Magnus's head. But instead of obeying, Magnus stood up.

"Lay down." He commanded, pointing to the dark velvet. Alec thought it was odd that the Warlock was not wearing white, the color of mourning. But then again, he wasn't a practicing Shadowhunter. Magnus wore a black robe, etched with smoky grey patterns, to complex to even describe it.

"This is hardly the time for-"

Magnus raised one black eyebrow, a ghost of a smile beginning on his tired lips. "Oh? Does the Shadowhunter think I'm going to ravish him? No. I just see how uncomfortable he looks on that small armrest."

"It isn't big enough for the both of us." Alec said, even so, he found himself sinking down into the cushions. Magnus laid on top of Alec, his spine pressing into Alec's stomach, but the Shadowhunter didn't feel it. "Now will you drink your milk?"

"Uh huh." Magnus nodded, draining the white cup of its content. When he was done, Alec wiped off Magnus's milk moustache with his sleeve, staining the black white. Soon, his boyfriends eyelids began to droop, the gold and green disappearing behind the foreign skin. "Alec?" He asked sleepily, turning his head so that his nose touched Alec's right shoulder.

"Yes?" Alec asked, resting his chin on Magnus's head, petting his hair and caressing his golden cheek.

"Thank you for being here. Without you, I don't know what I would have done." Magnus said, his lips touching Alec's black sweater, the fabric tickling his nose.

Alec smiled. "You would've probably thrown a party like Jay Gatsby and stood in the corner all the time."

"You think so?" Magnus asked. Alec nodded. Magnus, through tendrils of sleep pulling him down into unconsciousness, leaned up and pressed his tired lips to Alec's, tenderly and slowly. Alec poured all of his hurt for losing Max, his love for the Warlock ontop of him, and sadness for Magnus's loss for Chairman Meow into the kiss.

"I love you, Magnus." Alec whispered when they parted. But Magnus couldn't say it back, he only merely moved his lips, silently mouthing some incoherent sentence. His eyes closed, and his body went limp against Alec's, finally giving into sleep. Alec's phone buzzed, and he took it out, absentmindedly petting Magnus's hair. A text from Jace had appeared on the screen.

_A dozen Shax Demons in CP. You in?_ Or are you having sexy times with Magnus? It read. Alec's features twisted into a scowl as he replied back. They didn't need him, Magnus did. They could handle twelve monsters without Alec, and he wasn't even the best Shadowhunter in the institute, that title belonged to Jace and Jace alone. Still, the warrior inside him took over his mind and body and spirit. Alec couldn't say that he didn't want to go, because he did.

_Chairman Meow died, so no. No sexy times with Magnus. I'll be there in a bit._ Alec checked himself over. Since he came here in his black leather gear complete with seraph blades and daggers, he was already set. Carefully and quietly, he lifted Magnus up with no difficulty whatsoever. The Warlock didn't weigh much, and lifting heavy things since you were a child helped a lot. With one hand under Magnus's legs and the other on the small of his back, Alec pondered where to put him. Thinking it best to put him back on the couch, he did just that. If he was going to put him on his bed, Alec would have risked waking Magnus up because of the creaking floorboards.

Alec placed a thick black fur blanket over Magnus's body, tucking him in like he would Max, with the blanket up to his chin and the edges under his arms. The Shadowhunter felt a pang of guilt at deciding to leave his boyfriend. But he knew Magnus would be okay once he woke up. Alec realized that Magnus was scared that he was dead too, and he needed to see Alec with his own two, beautiful cat eyes for himself to believe that Alec was still here, still alive, still Magnus's to call his own. With a soft, quick kiss on the Warlock's forehead, Alec stood and stared at his boyfriend.

Magnus's right arm hung limply from under the heavy blanket, his golden hand twitching slightly. His mouth was slightly ajar, and Magnus had taken to snoring slightly in the five minutes of slumber he'd had. In sleep he looked younger, more peaceful looking, as if in his dreamland he was with Chairman Meow, and the burden of immortality didn't apply to him. The black hair dangled down over his eyes, creating a black veil to shield his irises from death.

With one last 'I love you' from the pale Shadowhunter, Alec walked out the door, closing it softly, praying to Raziel he didn't wake up Magnus. And then he raced down the stairs, his blood already tingling with excitement and adrenaline of the upcoming battle, the woes of the death of Chairman and Max already far behind him in the loft with the sleeping Warlock.

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**A/N: I have nothing to say so... Oh wait, I got my homecoming dress! It's kinda like a dark version of Alice's dress from the Tim Burton movie but it has glitter on it so thats cool! I love it! I'm gonna go do math homework (Boo) and Latin homework (Yay!) so bye!**

**Ave Atque Vale, **

**Wicked. **


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